Please pardon my thoughts
When I look at everything around me, I see people in a world so rapidly changing. Looking at all the trauma that people struggle to express and heal from caused by other people, is a disheartening sight. It’s painful to get on my social media or go out in the world when it’s everywhere. At this point, it seems like people who are whole and intact without aid, are a rarity.
I see pain, heartbreak, and loss from the ones that we thought would be a part of our lives forever. These emotions cover the faces of so many. I watch them vent out the pain through posts, actions, words, and all the mediums that are available to them. We latch ourselves onto some idea that came from romanticizing over a period that was refreshing yet addicting. Either that or we were sold a dream that has come crashing down. All of us are hiding trauma from that most impactful time when we collided with someone else. Like 2 planets in the void of space.
Deep down we are all screaming as loud as we can. The only problem is that the next person can’t always hear us in this isolation. We lack the methods of clearly and effectively saying that we are here alone, hurting. Occasionally, there comes another that bumps into us. But we are so accustomed to this way of life, that we invite them in not knowing they are just as broken. Then you see it. You see what they’re lacking, something that you have a lot of. So you give it to them. Meanwhile, they just take and take, leaving just enough room for that trauma to seep out. They glimpse it, so you hide it hoping that they aren’t frightened. It’s too late to go back. You gave what you had to ease what they may be going through and now they are leaving you with less. But you had it to give right? Or did you share something that you had just enough of so that you were okay? Now you are a few steps back from where you started until the next comes along.
It’s this painful cycle of hurt and pain that I see swarming the lives of so many. Some of us are fools who know what’s coming yet, ignore it because it’s better than being alone. After disturbing the only peace that someone had, the other continues life like normal. It’s sickening. Pieces of a person can’t be given back and sometimes, what’s broken can’t be repaired. I’ve sat and watched for so long. So void of emotions. But I’m no different from them. Because just like that hurt and broken person, I want to show that I’m okay. I want people viewing me to think that I’m something. That I’m okay in my own isolation. Screaming alone, hoping to escape. For my life to touch somebody…
